John Jannuzzi

How to Stain-Proof Yourself for Thanksgiving Dinner

John Jannuzzi
How to Stain-Proof Yourself for Thanksgiving Dinner

Photograph c/o Mary Evans/HOLLYWOOD PICTURES/Ronald Grant/Everett Collection

Pulling up to the Thanksgiving table is an annual treat. That fourth November Thursday brings the promise of a completely gluttonous meal, plenty of good things to drink, and a helping of sugar to top it all off. But the sparkling stemware, the buttery mashed potatoes, and the artfully-carved turkey are just vehicles for potential disaster: gravy, rivulets of melting butter, carefully-chosen red wine, and of course, dreaded-but-delicious cranberry sauce. 

All these obstacles make the case for clothing that can take — or at least hide — a stain. And we’ve got just the things you need to get through unscathed. They don’t give you license to eat like some prehistoric lizard, but they’ll at least hold up better than a crisp cream cashmere sweater or some other high-danger garment. 

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Left to right: The Chunky Merino Turtleneck Sweater in Heather Navy, the Selvage Stretch Jeans in Black Rinse, the Flannel Shirt in Burgundy McCallum Plaid

One approach here is to keep everything dark and reduce the contrast between the stain and the clothing itself. A splash of red wine or a rogue droplet of gravy will disappear pretty fast into a darker color. You don’t want to just turn yourself into a human napkin or truly damage your clothing, so you should still treat stains appropriately. (Ask the host for a tide pen if need be.) At the very least, you’ll be able to hide it. 

Left to Right: The Merino V-Neck sweater in Navy, the Merino Henley Sweater in Heather Olive, the Merino V-Neck Sweater in Marled Blue

If you’re set on wearing something in a nice light color that may present a danger, might we suggest something from the merino family? Though it’s not as stain resistant as say, plastic wrap, it does have some natural qualities that keep things from getting absorbed. If your significant other’s little cousin decides to start flinging mashed potatoes across the table, it’s a good first line of defense.

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Left to Right: The Tech Chino in blue, grey, and navy

Technology plays a handy role here as well. More specifically, our tech chino. It’s made to fit you perfectly while also protecting you from the elements, be they raindrops or spills of after-dinner drinks. Stay technical and you’ll stay protected (and dry).

If you’re overly concerned about any of this, you could also just put a napkin on your lap.